Bringing comfort

What do you say to someone who is facing difficulties? What do you say to someone who faces surgery? There are a couple of dangers, one is to avoid them altogether because we just don’t know what to say, the other is to swamp them and talk about nothing else but whatever is it that they are facing.

So actually how do we bring comfort.

1. The first is proactive; Spend time with people – build relationships now so you have relationships that can bring comfort then.
2. Spend time with people in crisis.
3. Don’t say ‘It’ll be alright’ or I’m sure it will be fine’. They don’t know that and neither do you and it is a vague wish without foundation.
4. By contrast our comfort is ultimately found in Christ, his forgiveness and resurrection, the future is secured.
5. Christ will make up for every loss that we have endured here.
6. God works all things for our good. It may be not be good, but he will work it for our good. Though often people can’t see it then, sometimes it takes 10 years or more. Don’t expect your friend to feel it emotionally as they go through hardships, they will be raw and in pain.
7. Don’t rebuke them and then preach these truths to them. Instead model hope for them – keep reading the Bible for yourself so that you know those comforts we have spoken of above, and ensure that as you comfort your brother or sister weeping with them, holding their hand, feeling with them that you show them hope.
8. Sometimes when someone is suffering they will question God, they may express anger with God, they may say they feel cut off from God and the temptation we face is to want to correct them theologically. Let those words go, in Job there are words for the wind, that need to be left.
9. Pray for God to heal them but also pray for their spiritual health, that they would know God with them comforting them and helping them through you and others.
10. Don’t idolise the world, but live for eternity. (Phil 3) Learn this for yourself and model it for them.