From Genesis 1-3 we see a number of key things about manhood, womanhood, how we relate to each other, how we relate to God and about marriage.
So we see that God creates man and woman equal but different as Genesis 2 zooms in on Day 6 of creation, and we also see that he is placed in garden to work and guard but surprisingly, given chapter ones repeated assertion, that there is something not good (v18)“It is not good for the man to be alone.” One of our problems in this verse is the way we think of loneliness. The issue here isn’t loneliness as we think of it!
If the problem was loneliness. Then Eve was created as an antidote to loneliness, therefore marriage is about companionship. But that is not what Genesis 2 shows us, context is key to working out what is really happening. In the context of the chapter we see that God gave Adam a task; working and protecting the garden, mediating his rule to creation - partially to be accompanied by multiplying - and then (18)God looks and sees Adam is the only one, he is alone, and the task is vast.
Adam’s problem is not loneliness it is that he needs help, creation needs lots of worshippers working, guarding and mediating God’s rule. God’s answer to the problem reveals it isn’t loneliness. God helps Adam see his need that’s why the animals come to him and as he names them he discovers what God already knows; he is alone. And it is to an Adam who now knows his aloneness that God brings the answer. Eve, a woman, a helper.
God doesn’t create a companion but a helper. Someone to worship and work with him to fulfil the God given task. God creates Eve so they can worship God as he intended as they have children, work, labour, guard and mediate God’s rule to his world
This helps us see the Biblical pattern as laid down in Genesis 2, In Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood it is helpfully summarised like this: “In the partnership of 2 spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God glorifying direction.”
We need a Biblical view of marriage. What should be upper most in our minds as we approach and think about marriage is Genesis 2. Will she help and support me as I worship God by leading the family and living life for his glory. If the answer to that is no then matter how attractive they are or how well you get on you ought not to marry that person. It must also inform our attitude to ourselves and marriage - loving self sacrificial headship. But we must also consider ourselves and ask am I willing and able to lead her in glorifying God.
In Ephesians 5 Paul lays out a pattern for marriage based on Christ and the church. He lays out a pattern of godly marriage, of headship and helper that is neither male dominance or female subservience. Fascinatingly in Paul's' teaching on men and women Genesis is foundational, as he describes Christian submission and Christian headship and stresses responsibilities of husband in light of the example of the cross.
His call in these verse is more challenging for the husbands. A believing and godly husband will treat his wife as Christ treats church; giving himself for her, he will not be harsh with her but will love her at cost to himself. In short Paul's model and call to husbands is loving servant leadership.
We need to recognise the challenge this poses as it is so very counter cultural, but it is a biblical mandate. The Bible calls us as men to lead our families in a godly way, to pattern ourselves on our saviour and love our wives self sacrificially. However we also need to recognise that we can only live like this by grace and the Spirit.
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