Learning to really listen

Listening is one of the most important activities we engage in day by day.  But it's not just important practically but theologically.  The Bible has lots to say about our listening, especially to how we listen to God his word and his people.  But I wonder sometimes how well we listen, with what depth?

In pastoral conversations I find I need to work really hard at listening, not because I'm not interested in the person, not because what they are saying is not important it is vitally so.  But because I'm straining to listen below the surface, to detect their view of God in their words.  Fundamentally our words reflect our view of God even as they reveal other things.  Let me give some examples to help.  When chatting with someone about a lack of assurance if we are listening theologically we will hear how they think about God - do they lack assurance because they haven't grasped how lavish God's love is?  Or because they haven't understood that God has forgiven their every sin - there are no skeletons in their closet?  Or because they haven't full embraced their status in Christ as Sons rather than tenants who must earn or contribute.

Our when talking to a couple about their marriage struggles will I listen theologically?  Listening for where they have stopped believing God has gifted them their partner for their good and godliness and his glory?  Or where they have begun wrongly believing God's love means no struggle?  Or that God wouldn't want them trapped in a tough marriage because God only longs for us to know comfort?

We need to listen theologically, what is it people are revealing about who they believe God to be and does it fit with who God has revealed himself to be?  But we then need to go one step further.  We need to help people listen theologically to themselves, to see the view of God they are articulating and help them see the true God we worship.