Reflections on ill health

Last week was the first week since the final week in May that I have not suffered with any tiredness or illness, nausea or stomach pains.  I hadn't really realised just how normal it had become, until I felt back to 'normal' last week.  Sunday was the first Sunday when I felt the freedom to preach unconcerned about whether I would have a dizzy spell or need to conserve my energy to last the sermon.  It was also the first time I had led, spoken to the children and preached, and so far there has been no subsequent Monday collapse and 24 hours in bed.

I am incredibly grateful to God for my recovery.  It was refreshing to preach without feeling concerned about making it through, or conserving energy for later in the talk.  It has been a joy just to be able to do more with the boys and lift some of the burden of child care and housework that Lucy has patiently, willingly and uncomplainingly, had to bear for the last 6 months.  Thank you for your prayers and please join me in praising God our Father for a good week and pray for it to be a full recovery with no relapses.

I am also grateful to God for the illness, even the prolonged nature of it.  Whilst I haven't enjoyed it, it has given me time to reflect, it has made me stop and rest on my relationship with God, it has highlighted lots of undiscerned sin in my drivenness, my approach to ministry and my attitudes to others.  In short illness has been God's grace to me.

It also leads me to reflect that God knows me better than I know myself.  After my first month of feeling ill and being challenged a slight recovery led me to throw myself back into everything just as before, short term learning had no long term effect.  So, God graciously and lovingly, has kept on teaching me the same lessons over a longer period, drumming it into me so I don't forget (or at least that's my prayer).  Truly God is good.