The dangers of disconnection

We're working our way through Esther on Sunday morning's and as I prepared for last Sunday I couldn't help but notice how isolated and disconnected from the people of God she has become.  As all the rest of God's people mourn in sackcloth and ashes Esther is not.  And when Esther hears of Mordecai's actions she doesn't join him in mourning instead she sends him clothes to put on.  On the surface it sounds callous.  But the real problem is that Esther doesn't know what is going on.  She knows nothing about the threat to God's people posed by Haman's decree.  Keeping her nationality hidden means no-one knows that this concerns her and Esther's compromise with the world leads to isolation which in turn leads to disconnection from the people of God.  In fact so disconnected is Esther that she seems to feel she'll be OK, shielded by her position and palace life - hence Mordecai's rebuke.  It takes the encouragements and challenges of Mordecai to make her stand as one of God's people.

As I studied the chapter it occurred to me that this pattern is a recurring one in the bible.  In Genesis 38 Judah isolates himself from his brothers and goes to stay with Hiram and basically lives as he likes, sleeping with what he assumes is a shrine prostitute.  David, isolated from his men because he stays at home in the palace, sees, pursues, and commits adultery with Bathsheba and then murders Uriah.  Peter finds himself isolated by the courtyard fire and ends up denying he knows Jesus.

Isolation and disconnection for the people of God is dangerous.  It is hard to live in the world but not be of the world on our own.  Which is why we are not on our own.  Esther needs Mordecai to challenge and encourage her.  Judah needs Tamar's actions which act as rebuke to make him realise how far he has fallen.  David needs Nathan's prophetic challenge.  Peter needs Jesus' loving restoration into the church.

Why would we be any different?  We need one another and God knowing that gifted us the church.  So invest in the relationships you have there.  Connect don't just attend.  Be discipled and disciple others don't settle for being a consumer because disconnection is dangerous for the people of God.

When is a church plant not a church plant?

Grace Church is 8 years old this week.  Eight years ago a small group of people left Bessacarr Evangelical Church to start a new work, initially in Hatchell Wood, but for the last two years and a half years in the Hayfield part of Auckley.  As is usual at times of anniversaries or birthdays we muse about where we are and where we dreamt we would be.  Have our hopes and dreams been realised?  If so why?  If not, why not?  Just as I think about those things one of the big questions that struck me was the question above.

In one sense Grace Church stopped being a plant when we launched in September 2007.  Because we were a functioning church, with our own leadership, quickly we established our own ways of doing things more suited to the people we were trying to reach.  That process has continued to happen, with our move to Hayfield we have tweaked things again as we seek to make Jesus known to what was and is primarily a disadvantaged community.  A church plant in one sense ceases to be a plant the moment it begins functioning as a church, so on day one.

But as evangelicals we seem to have a curiously myopic slant on when a plant becomes a church.  So often I hear it spoken of as being when a church becomes "independent".  I'd love to know what that means and how those who advocate such an understanding, or even think it, square it with what the Bible says.  As I read the letters to the churches in the New Testament I don't see "independent churches", I see interdependent churches.  Churches where the wealthy support those in hard circumstances, where the rich give to enable gospel preaching among the poor, where churches blessed with those able to teach send and give away their BEST Bible teachers to other churches because they recognise they are building God's kingdom rather than their own kingdom.

I wonder if our preoccupation with independence means that we've lost some of that - interesting that we seem to value that as it has increasingly been valued in our society.  Eight years in one of my convictions is that Grace Church has always felt 'fragile'.  I've debated using that word because it seems negative, it feels like a badge of failure.  Maybe there is a better word, but as yet I haven't found it.  We've experienced times of growth and shrinkage.  We've seen people come to faith and others drift away.  We've faced, from my perspective far too many, pastoral crises.  We've faced a financial crisis and by God's grace come through it.  We've seemingly had too few leaders and then by God's grace seen new leaders emerge.  We've had an assistant pastor and then with joy been able to send him on to pastor another church, with all the challenges that loss brings for us.  But throughout the eight years whilst feeling in many senses established Grace Church has always felt fragile.  Or maybe that is just my experience of it as the pastor, knowing what is going on, sometimes dealing with the fall out and maybe feeling the highs and lows more than others.  Maybe it is just that I have found myself living on edge more, more aware of my responsibility and culpability, experiencing sleepless nights due to pastoral crisis, financial concerns, building issues, relational struggles, mistakes I have unintentionally made, and therefore more aware of my utter dependence on God.

What that has taught me eight years in is that no church should be an island and definitely no pastor can be.  We as a church need others and we are grateful to God for the partnerships he has helped us foster, without them simply we wouldn't be here.  As a pastor I am grateful for the partnerships I enjoy with both leaders within the congregation and a band of brothers without.  I wonder if it's time to do away with that "independent" label when we think of churches whether they are plants or not, what would it look like if we developed co-dependent churches?  What would the advantages be?  How much more would we learn of the wonder of grace and our need of it as we partnered with others, sharing their sorrows and joys, being invested in the kingdom there rather than just seeing it and caring about it here?

Depending on God

We were looking last night at Mark 14 and Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, one of the things that struck me in preparing was the difference between Jesus and the disciples.

Peter, James and John have made various boasts about standing with Jesus, not being scattered and being able to drink the cup he drinks. But as Jesus prays they do not, instead they fall asleep and they fail. Instead of standing with him they run, or simply remain in the shadows.

By contrast Jesus is at a critical moment in salvation history as he battles over doing the Father's will, he has none of the disciples easy confidence but he is in agony as he faces what he knows is coming. This leads him to depend on his Father as he pours out his prayer. And it is Jesus who emerges to do what he has said he will do, facing the cross, drinking the cup.

If even Jesus is that dependent on his Father why are we so often more like the disciples?

Our failure to pray is because we fail to depend on God

Our default mode is DIO (Do It Ourselves), we are brought up to be independent thinkers, independent learners, independent live-rs. That makes lots of things hard for us when they call us to become co-dependent (marriage, parenting and old age to name but 3). But fundamentally for us as Christians it makes prayer hard.

In prayer we are confessing to God that we are not independent, that we need him to work in and through us in our lives and the lives of others. We are saying we can't Do It Ourselves. The problem is that often we forget this and so we don't pray about it, or if we do we pray about it knowing exactly what we are going to do and are just looking for God to bless what we are going to do anyway without seeking his will.

Take parenting for example. Parenting is hard but I'd guess that we spend more time thinking, reading and discussing parenting than we do praying about it. Why is that? Its because we think if we have the right techniques, if we can just be that bit better, if I can improve by the extra 1% then my children will turn out OK.

Actually we need to recognise that we are dependent on God for our children and for our parenting. Prayer should be our first and everyday resort. As we seek to deal with the rebellious child who rebels against everything we need to be praying God show me my sin in dealing with my child and Father help him/her come to know and trust you, may I show them your character and love. Now some of you reading this are thinking yes that's fine but what should I do!

How can I impact and change my child? What is going on is a battle of wills, we think we must dominate and overcome our child, but actually that is sin - that is just us imposing our will on him - it may be where that stubborn willful streak came from. First step is to pray about ourselves - God has given us children partly to highlight our own sinful hearts and call us to depend on him. Why not take a moment to do that now?

Having realised that we need to come dependently to God. Depending on him for forgiveness and as the ultimate example of a loving Father. We need to pray for God to work in our child's heart and mind not so our will is imposed but fundamentally and firstly so that they come to know God - the stakes are so much greater than getting my way as a parent.

What we pray about our children reveals what we treasure. It is worth thinking through what you pray for them, why not write a prayer card for each with your priorities, leaving space to add or adapt as necessary.

We need to be praying for our children because it depends on God not us.

What is true for our children is true for everything. Remembering that we are dependent on God for everything would cause us to pray more promptly, more regularly and more continuously.