How do you think of church? I think often the way we think of church is unhelpful, even if we have got passed it being a building we think of it as a service, or an event. But at the heart of church are committed reconciled relationships, ones which aim to apply the truth of God's word to one another's lives, to expose our sin and to display the wonder of the gospel of grace.
Popular media has cottoned on to something about men, you think of 'manly' films - Saving Private Ryan, Fight Club, and TV shows like 'Band of Brothers', 'The Pacific' what do they all have in common? A group of guys committed to one another often taking on an epic task with just each another for support.
Men need other men, men need friendship, those friendships may look very different in the way they work but men are not solitary beings, they need a band of brothers. This is largely because we need challenge; we need other people who we know are committed to our gospel good who will challenge us about our lives and any gospel gap they see there. These relationships will not be the same for every man because all man are different, the bible reflects that - Peter is a very different character from David who is very different from Elijah, who is very different from the Apostle Paul and so on. Men are different from one another and the way they relate to one another will be different but men need other men.
Men also need courageous leaders, there is a pattern in scripture of men leading men. Think again of characters like Moses, David, Nehemiah, Peter, Paul and ultimately Jesus. All courageous leaders, all leaders who lived out their lives in view of others whose passion for God was clear and who took others with them, who called people to something greater than themselves. Men need courageous leaders who will disciple them by word and example and call them to kingdom greatness.
Men also need to wake up, as the music video I linked to yesterday so eloquently said, men need to man up and take a stand for the gospel. We need men to engage in evangelism because 93% of the time if a husband comes to Christ the family follow, and yet we struggle to reach men, why because I think in large part men follow men, men follow courageous leaders and they are not finding those leaders to follow. This must make us pray 'Father God, raise up a generation of men who will contend for your name.' and recognise that we may be part of the answer to our own prayer.
We need men to engage in discipleship of one another, to form lots of little bands of brothers, fight clubs where they fight sin, apply the gospel and challenge one another to live for Christ. Because it is only God's word at work in our lives which will lead us to have a heart that is passionate and on fire for Jesus.
We need to explode the 'quiet time' mode of personal bible study. For lots of men I speak to this is off putting. Why does it have to be quiet? Why can't it be noisy and exuberant? Does it have to be on our own, why when so many people find it easier in a small group setting? We need to study God's word, to understand more of his character and heart, to know more of the wonder of the gospel and how it remakes our identity, yes! But there is no one way of doing it, God has made each of us different use that individuality to find how and when and where is best for you to get to know God. Is it outside walking in the woods, is it reading the bible or listening to it, is it written prayers, out loud prayers, sung prayers?
We are men made in Christ's image, our identity is that we are in Christ with everything that means. Yet for many of us we live with a gospel gap, we know we have been saved and justified and we know that we have a secure and glorious future kept in heaven for us, but the gospel gap is now. What does being a man in Christ look like now?
Hopeful these posts have given some food for thought, but I still think we have a lot more thinking to do about this. Be men; passionately and courageously love Christ, take risks for the gospel, apply grace daily to your relationships, establish fight clubs with other men, study God's word, and call others to join you in serving Jesus.
Showing posts with label in Christ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in Christ. Show all posts
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Men in Christ Part 3 - Men in Christ and sexuality
There is an enormous gulf between the way the world thinks of sex and the way the church teaches on sex. It is easy for us to identify how the world degrades sex, in fact the very term itself has come to be cold and distant. I may be showing my age but I think there is something beautiful about the way the older translations describe it as "knowing" a husband or a wife. It is part of the intimacy and joy of marriage. The world makes sex cheap - it is used as an advertising gimmick, as a means of release, as a selfish right, as a power thing!
However, I think we also have to recognise that for too long the church has not helped us think rightly about sex and relationships. I wonder if we went too far the other way and just didn't talk about it - apart from the annual relationships talk in youth group. This I think has made us shy in talking about sex and in turn has meant we do not have a biblical view of intimacy. I want to try to correct that as well as call out some of the lies the world tells us about sex.
In Genesis as God makes man and woman and gives them to each other part of that good gift is sex. Sex is part of the creation that is very good, but it is very good because it is within God's given context. Lifelong monogamous marriage between a man and a woman is given for relationship and having children. It is also the only God given context for sexual intimacy. The world reads a sentence like that and concludes it is restrictive, but actually it is liberating, God wants us to enjoy sexual intimacy as he designed it to be.
Unlike us the Bible isn't shy about sex and intimacy, in fact it often speaks about it (Gen 2, Gen 26:8, Psalm 45:11, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Proverbs 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7 and so on). Perhaps the most glorious exploration of it is in the book Song of Songs. The Bible exhorts us that in order to build a godly marriage sex needs to be thought of in its God given way and enjoyed in its God given context.
The problem is that as with every part of the good creation sex is subject to the fall. That means what was a good gift pointing us to a glorious creator God can now become something tainted and which can even enslaves us unless we rediscover its original context in relationship to God.
There are three ways sin affects sex. 1. When it becomes what we worship, a rival to God, this happens when it becomes an ultimate thing rather than a good gift from our creator. 2. It becomes selfish rather than the act of intimacy it was intended to be. This can be for a number of reasons, though chief among them is the selfish need to feel attractive or valued. 3. It becomes damaging.
I think this is particularly seen in 3 areas in our culture.
1. Pornography
A recent study concluded that 90% of men have viewed pornography, 9 in 10, that is a staggering statistic. Pornography is innately selfish and goes against everything God designed sex to be, it tears apart God's design in pairing sex and love together. It is also addictive, it leads you to want more and more. It is also damaging in its consequences, it damages future marriages as you enter marriage with unrealistic images and unhealthy appetites, it can even make enjoying your future partner difficult for both of you. Furthermore it does not view others as made in the image of God, in fact lusting after another is part and parcel of viewing pornography, and so goes against the disciples mandate Jesus gives in Matt 5:27-30. It is a denial of who you are in Christ.
2. Masturbation
The Bible does not explicitly say masturbation is wrong but its teaching about the joy and wonder of marital intimacy shows how far short it falls and takes what God has designed and twists it. Masturbation is self-centred sex and that is far short of what God desires and designed for us to enjoy. Furthermore masturbation is usually accompanied by a lusting after someone, again Matt 5:27-30 tells us that this is a denial of who we are in Christ.
3. Asking the wrong questions
The most commonly asked question is this; 'How far can we go?' This question is striking in its Pharisee like nature. It is essentially asking how much can we get away with, where does holiness stop and sin begin. The bibles call is to radical holiness, read Ephesians 5 and Paul's exhortation to strive to present your wife holy and blameless that is what we are to aspire to in our relationships. Suddenly in that context that question is seen to miss the point.
We do not need rules we need to recognise our identity in Christ. In Christ we are justified and liberated from the hold sin has on us. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 lists all sorts of sexual sins among others but concludes "...that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." We can take out the your and substitute our names there as we feel our guilt and shame at our failure. That is not who I am I am washed, sanctified and justified. We are liberated sons not slaves to sin.
This means practically we need to be living out our identity in Christ. We are not slaves to these things anymore and when we feel the temptation to engage in them we must look at our identity in Christ. As Jesus teaches about radical righteousness it is to disciples he speaks because they have shown they are hungry for such things having trusted him. Practically we don't need rules we need to have our hearts captivated by the cross, we need to listen and respond to the Spirit's promptings within us and we need to utilise the God given gift of a church family around us to pray for us, hold us accountable and point us to the cross.
However, I think we also have to recognise that for too long the church has not helped us think rightly about sex and relationships. I wonder if we went too far the other way and just didn't talk about it - apart from the annual relationships talk in youth group. This I think has made us shy in talking about sex and in turn has meant we do not have a biblical view of intimacy. I want to try to correct that as well as call out some of the lies the world tells us about sex.
In Genesis as God makes man and woman and gives them to each other part of that good gift is sex. Sex is part of the creation that is very good, but it is very good because it is within God's given context. Lifelong monogamous marriage between a man and a woman is given for relationship and having children. It is also the only God given context for sexual intimacy. The world reads a sentence like that and concludes it is restrictive, but actually it is liberating, God wants us to enjoy sexual intimacy as he designed it to be.
Unlike us the Bible isn't shy about sex and intimacy, in fact it often speaks about it (Gen 2, Gen 26:8, Psalm 45:11, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Proverbs 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7 and so on). Perhaps the most glorious exploration of it is in the book Song of Songs. The Bible exhorts us that in order to build a godly marriage sex needs to be thought of in its God given way and enjoyed in its God given context.
The problem is that as with every part of the good creation sex is subject to the fall. That means what was a good gift pointing us to a glorious creator God can now become something tainted and which can even enslaves us unless we rediscover its original context in relationship to God.
There are three ways sin affects sex. 1. When it becomes what we worship, a rival to God, this happens when it becomes an ultimate thing rather than a good gift from our creator. 2. It becomes selfish rather than the act of intimacy it was intended to be. This can be for a number of reasons, though chief among them is the selfish need to feel attractive or valued. 3. It becomes damaging.
I think this is particularly seen in 3 areas in our culture.
1. Pornography
A recent study concluded that 90% of men have viewed pornography, 9 in 10, that is a staggering statistic. Pornography is innately selfish and goes against everything God designed sex to be, it tears apart God's design in pairing sex and love together. It is also addictive, it leads you to want more and more. It is also damaging in its consequences, it damages future marriages as you enter marriage with unrealistic images and unhealthy appetites, it can even make enjoying your future partner difficult for both of you. Furthermore it does not view others as made in the image of God, in fact lusting after another is part and parcel of viewing pornography, and so goes against the disciples mandate Jesus gives in Matt 5:27-30. It is a denial of who you are in Christ.
2. Masturbation
The Bible does not explicitly say masturbation is wrong but its teaching about the joy and wonder of marital intimacy shows how far short it falls and takes what God has designed and twists it. Masturbation is self-centred sex and that is far short of what God desires and designed for us to enjoy. Furthermore masturbation is usually accompanied by a lusting after someone, again Matt 5:27-30 tells us that this is a denial of who we are in Christ.
3. Asking the wrong questions
The most commonly asked question is this; 'How far can we go?' This question is striking in its Pharisee like nature. It is essentially asking how much can we get away with, where does holiness stop and sin begin. The bibles call is to radical holiness, read Ephesians 5 and Paul's exhortation to strive to present your wife holy and blameless that is what we are to aspire to in our relationships. Suddenly in that context that question is seen to miss the point.
We do not need rules we need to recognise our identity in Christ. In Christ we are justified and liberated from the hold sin has on us. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 lists all sorts of sexual sins among others but concludes "...that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." We can take out the your and substitute our names there as we feel our guilt and shame at our failure. That is not who I am I am washed, sanctified and justified. We are liberated sons not slaves to sin.
This means practically we need to be living out our identity in Christ. We are not slaves to these things anymore and when we feel the temptation to engage in them we must look at our identity in Christ. As Jesus teaches about radical righteousness it is to disciples he speaks because they have shown they are hungry for such things having trusted him. Practically we don't need rules we need to have our hearts captivated by the cross, we need to listen and respond to the Spirit's promptings within us and we need to utilise the God given gift of a church family around us to pray for us, hold us accountable and point us to the cross.
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Being Men in Christ Part 1
At the weekend I had the privilege of speaking to the men from Leeds Met CU House party on the topic Being Men in Christ. I'm going to blog through what we looked. So here's the first part:
Which of these questions do you think is most important and why?
Fundamental to answering all of these questions is understanding our identity, what it means to be men in Christ.
Ephesians 2:1-8
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—"
Our identity is found not in what we were but in what we now are in Christ. We were dead in our sin and transgressions utterly unable to do anything to redeem or save ourselves until God in his great love made us alive with Christ. In Christ we are made alive and from this act of grace our identity is transformed. We are not just made alive but saved, raised and seated in the heavenly realms and we are given a kingdom purpose to live out our new identity displaying the riches of his grace. We are no longer what we werwe but we are something new!
Everything about us is transformed we are totally different, our identity is not in the world or in the worlds ideas of what manliness means but it is in Christ. This means that we do not look to the TV or films, media, or society for our definition of manhood and our identity but we look to the Bible to learn what it means to be in Christ. Our experience of God's grace and love in Christ now transforms us totally as it permeates every part of our being, thinking, responding and reacting.
We are going to look particularly at the transformation being in Christ makes to our understanding on family, sex and discipleship.
Which of these questions do you think is most important and why?
- What is biblical manliness?
- What is success?
- How do I deal with guilt feelings?
- What is male sexuality and is purity possible?
- What is Christian leadership and how is it developed?
- What are the basic disciples of a Christian man?
- What ministry skills need to be developed and how?
- What is biblical business/study conduct?
- What is integrity and how is it developed?
Fundamental to answering all of these questions is understanding our identity, what it means to be men in Christ.
Ephesians 2:1-8
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—"
Our identity is found not in what we were but in what we now are in Christ. We were dead in our sin and transgressions utterly unable to do anything to redeem or save ourselves until God in his great love made us alive with Christ. In Christ we are made alive and from this act of grace our identity is transformed. We are not just made alive but saved, raised and seated in the heavenly realms and we are given a kingdom purpose to live out our new identity displaying the riches of his grace. We are no longer what we werwe but we are something new!
Everything about us is transformed we are totally different, our identity is not in the world or in the worlds ideas of what manliness means but it is in Christ. This means that we do not look to the TV or films, media, or society for our definition of manhood and our identity but we look to the Bible to learn what it means to be in Christ. Our experience of God's grace and love in Christ now transforms us totally as it permeates every part of our being, thinking, responding and reacting.
We are going to look particularly at the transformation being in Christ makes to our understanding on family, sex and discipleship.
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