Being Men in Christ Part 4 - Men in Christ as Disciples

How do you think of church?  I think often the way we think of church is unhelpful, even if we have got passed it being a building we think of it as a service, or an event.  But at the heart of church are committed reconciled relationships, ones which aim to apply the truth of God's word to one another's lives, to expose our sin and to display the wonder of the gospel of grace.

Popular media has cottoned on to something about men, you think of 'manly' films - Saving Private Ryan, Fight Club, and TV shows like 'Band of Brothers', 'The Pacific' what do they all have in common?  A group of guys committed to one another often taking on an epic task with just each another for support.

Men need other men, men need friendship, those friendships may look very different in the way they work but men are not solitary beings, they need a band of brothers.  This is largely because we need challenge; we need other people who we know are committed to our gospel good who will challenge us about our lives and any gospel gap they see there.  These relationships will not be the same for every man because all man are different, the bible reflects that - Peter is a very different character from David who is very different from Elijah, who is very different from the Apostle Paul and so on.  Men are different from one another and the way they relate to one another will be different but men need other men.

Men also need courageous leaders, there is a pattern in scripture of men leading men.  Think again of characters like Moses, David, Nehemiah, Peter, Paul and ultimately Jesus.  All courageous leaders, all leaders who lived out their lives in view of others whose passion for God was clear and who took others with them, who called people to something greater than themselves.  Men need courageous leaders who will disciple them by word and example and call them to kingdom greatness.

Men also need to wake up, as the music video I linked to yesterday so eloquently said, men need to man up and take a stand for the gospel.  We need men to engage in evangelism because 93% of the time if a husband comes to Christ the family follow, and yet we struggle to reach men, why because I think in large part men follow men, men follow courageous leaders and they are not finding those leaders to follow.  This must make us pray 'Father God, raise up a generation of men who will contend for your name.' and recognise that we may be part of the answer to our own prayer.

We need men to engage in discipleship of one another, to form lots of little bands of brothers, fight clubs where they fight sin, apply the gospel and challenge one another to live for Christ.  Because it is only God's word at work in our lives which will lead us to have a heart that is passionate and on fire for Jesus.

We need to explode the 'quiet time' mode of personal bible study.  For lots of men I speak to this is off putting.  Why does it have to be quiet?  Why can't it be noisy and exuberant?  Does it have to be on our own, why when so many people find it easier in a small group setting?  We need to study God's word, to understand more of his character and heart, to know more of the wonder of the gospel and how it remakes our identity, yes!  But there is no one way of doing it, God has made each of us different use that individuality to find how and when and where is best for you to get to know God.  Is it outside walking in the woods, is it reading the bible or listening to it, is it written prayers, out loud prayers, sung prayers?

We are men made in Christ's image, our identity is that we are in Christ with everything that means.  Yet for many of us we live with a gospel gap, we know we have been saved and justified and we know that we have a secure and glorious future kept in heaven for us, but the gospel gap is now.  What does being a man in Christ look like now?

Hopeful these posts have given some food for thought, but I still think we have a lot more thinking to do about this.  Be men; passionately and courageously love Christ, take risks for the gospel, apply grace daily to your relationships, establish fight clubs with other men, study God's word, and call others to join you in serving Jesus.

Men in Christ Part 3 - Men in Christ and sexuality

There is an enormous gulf between the way the world thinks of sex and the way the church teaches on sex. It is easy for us to identify how the world degrades sex, in fact the very term itself has come to be cold and distant. I may be showing my age but I think there is something beautiful about the way the older translations describe it as "knowing" a husband or a wife. It is part of the intimacy and joy of marriage. The world makes sex cheap - it is used as an advertising gimmick, as a means of release, as a selfish right, as a power thing!

However, I think we also have to recognise that for too long the church has not helped us think rightly about sex and relationships. I wonder if we went too far the other way and just didn't talk about it - apart from the annual relationships talk in youth group. This I think has made us shy in talking about sex and in turn has meant we do not have a biblical view of intimacy. I want to try to correct that as well as call out some of the lies the world tells us about sex.

In Genesis as God makes man and woman and gives them to each other part of that good gift is sex. Sex is part of the creation that is very good, but it is very good because it is within God's given context. Lifelong monogamous marriage between a man and a woman is given for relationship and having children. It is also the only God given context for sexual intimacy. The world reads a sentence like that and concludes it is restrictive, but actually it is liberating, God wants us to enjoy sexual intimacy as he designed it to be.

Unlike us the Bible isn't shy about sex and intimacy, in fact it often speaks about it (Gen 2, Gen 26:8, Psalm 45:11, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Proverbs 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7 and so on). Perhaps the most glorious exploration of it is in the book Song of Songs. The Bible exhorts us that in order to build a godly marriage sex needs to be thought of in its God given way and enjoyed in its God given context.

The problem is that as with every part of the good creation sex is subject to the fall. That means what was a good gift pointing us to a glorious creator God can now become something tainted and which can even enslaves us unless we rediscover its original context in relationship to God.

There are three ways sin affects sex. 1. When it becomes what we worship, a rival to God, this happens when it becomes an ultimate thing rather than a good gift from our creator. 2. It becomes selfish rather than the act of intimacy it was intended to be. This can be for a number of reasons, though chief among them is the selfish need to feel attractive or valued. 3. It becomes damaging.

I think this is particularly seen in 3 areas in our culture.
1. Pornography
A recent study concluded that 90% of men have viewed pornography, 9 in 10, that is a staggering statistic. Pornography is innately selfish and goes against everything God designed sex to be, it tears apart God's design in pairing sex and love together. It is also addictive, it leads you to want more and more. It is also damaging in its consequences, it damages future marriages as you enter marriage with unrealistic images and unhealthy appetites, it can even make enjoying your future partner difficult for both of you. Furthermore it does not view others as made in the image of God, in fact lusting after another is part and parcel of viewing pornography, and so goes against the disciples mandate Jesus gives in Matt 5:27-30. It is a denial of who you are in Christ.

2. Masturbation
The Bible does not explicitly say masturbation is wrong but its teaching about the joy and wonder of marital intimacy shows how far short it falls and takes what God has designed and twists it. Masturbation is self-centred sex and that is far short of what God desires and designed for us to enjoy. Furthermore masturbation is usually accompanied by a lusting after someone, again Matt 5:27-30 tells us that this is a denial of who we are in Christ.

3. Asking the wrong questions
The most commonly asked question is this; 'How far can we go?' This question is striking in its Pharisee like nature. It is essentially asking how much can we get away with, where does holiness stop and sin begin. The bibles call is to radical holiness, read Ephesians 5 and Paul's exhortation to strive to present your wife holy and blameless that is what we are to aspire to in our relationships. Suddenly in that context that question is seen to miss the point.

We do not need rules we need to recognise our identity in Christ. In Christ we are justified and liberated from the hold sin has on us. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 lists all sorts of sexual sins among others but concludes "...that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." We can take out the your and substitute our names there as we feel our guilt and shame at our failure. That is not who I am I am washed, sanctified and justified. We are liberated sons not slaves to sin.

This means practically we need to be living out our identity in Christ. We are not slaves to these things anymore and when we feel the temptation to engage in them we must look at our identity in Christ. As Jesus teaches about radical righteousness it is to disciples he speaks because they have shown they are hungry for such things having trusted him. Practically we don't need rules we need to have our hearts captivated by the cross, we need to listen and respond to the Spirit's promptings within us and we need to utilise the God given gift of a church family around us to pray for us, hold us accountable and point us to the cross.

Man Up!

Just came across this by 116 Clique, its called 'Man Up!'

Being Men in Christ - Part 2 - Men in Christ and Family

In the New Testament when it explores what it means to be family in Christ the focus returns to Genesis 1-3.  Adam is placed in the garden to work and to guard it but there is something that is not good (18)"It is not good for the man to be alone."  I think we naturally assume that means his problem is loneliness - we project the problem of our age back onto Adam.  But Genesis 2 shows that the issue is to do, not with loneliness, but with the task God has given Adam; working and protecting the garden, mediating God's rule of his creation and when (18)God sees Adam is the only one, he is alone, and the task is vast, he needs help.  Creation needs lots of worshippers working, guarding and mediating God's rule.

God's answer to the problem also reveals that the problem isn't loneliness, God helps Adam to see his need that's why the animals come to him and Adam realises his need after he has named them and realises there is no helper suitable for him.  It is in that context God creates Eve as Adam's helper.  God does not make a companion - which would be the answer to loneliness, but God creates a helper - someone who will enable him to worship God by fulfilling their God given task together.  God creates Eve so together they can worship God as he intended and produce little worshippers to work, labour, guard and mediate God's rule as they worship him.

And Adam delights in Eve as God's answer.  Gen 2:23-24 is the first love song, as Adams sees God's answer he acknowledges she is perfect, together they will be able to worship God as they should.  We need this biblical view of marriage because marriage is about worshipping God, about serving God together.  It helps us value what God has made our partners to be, they are for our good.

In Ephesians 5:21-33 Paul picks up this picture and shows the believers how it is fleshed out for those who are in Christ, it doesn't overturn the created order rather it is redeemed.  Husband and wife now partner together to joyfully enable one another live life worshipping God.  The model for marriage is gracious, loving servant leadership.

This is so necessary when marriage sees the clash of two kingdoms, his and hers, with each others competing expectations and goals and norms.  In a marriage of two sinners in a sinful world grace and cross centred living is a must, in fact it is the only hope for marriage.

Being Men in Christ Part 1

At the weekend I had the privilege of speaking to the men from Leeds Met CU House party on the topic Being Men in Christ.  I'm going to blog through what we looked.  So here's the first part:

Which of these questions do you think is most important and why?

1. What is biblical manliness?
2. What is success?
3. How do I deal with guilt feelings?
4. What is male sexuality and is purity possible?
5. What is Christian leadership and how is it developed?
6. What are the basic disciples of a Christian man?
7. What ministry skills need to be developed and how?
8. What is biblical business/study conduct?
9. What is integrity and how is it developed?

Many of these questions all flow from the question of integrity, what does it mean to be a biblical man who lives his life with integrity?  'How do we deal with pride?' is another question which we ought to ask and seek a biblical answer to.

Fundamental to answering all of these questions is understanding our identity, what it means to be men in Christ.

Ephesians 2:1-8
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.  All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.  But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—"

Our identity is found not in what we were but in what we now are in Christ.  We were dead in our sin and transgressions utterly unable to do anything to redeem or save ourselves until God in his great love made us alive with Christ.  In Christ we are made alive and from this act of grace our identity is transformed.  We are not just made alive but saved, raised and seated in the heavenly realms and we are given a kingdom purpose to live out our new identity displaying the riches of his grace.  We are no longer what we werwe but we are something new!

Everything about us is transformed we are totally different, our identity is not in the world or in the worlds ideas of what manliness means but it is in Christ.  This means that we do not look to the TV or films, media, or society for our definition of manhood and our identity but we look to the Bible to learn what it means to be in Christ.  Our experience of God's grace and love in Christ now transforms us totally as it permeates every part of our being, thinking, responding and reacting.

We are going to look particularly at the transformation being in Christ makes to our understanding on family, sex and discipleship.

The Masculine Mandate

I started reading this book by Richard Phillips this morning, it is a book I have been looking forward to reading as one of the big questions for men coming to faith is what does Chriatian manhood look like. The secular world's impression of the church is that it is old and feminised thus such a book is timely.

Having read the foreword (by Jerry Bridges) and the preface I think British culture is in this area tragically ahead of the US. Phillips fear is that men in churches do not know what the biblical mandate for men is, largely because secular teaching, the media and a lack of masculine role models in the church and the home has left men untaught and unsure. If this is the case increasingly in the States it has tragically been the case in Britain for over a decade and it is a trend that is gathering momentum. Men need to be taught what the bibles mandate is for men, what it means to be godly and be a man.

But it got me thinking in what context would you teach this? It is a significant issue for the church so would Sunday mornings be a good idea? What about in home groups? Or a series of men's breakfasts where we looked at this issue?

I'm hoping as I read the book to be practically challenged to change but also enabled to work out the best context in which to teach this material to others. I'm convinced this has been a problem for some time and may be one of the most pressing facing the gospel in the UK, both in terms of how we reach men, how we live as men and how we raise boys in our churches.

The Challenge - Sacrifice

Really struck by this quotation in an article I was reading this morning:

“Where are the young men and women of this generation who will hold their lives cheap and be faithful even unto death? Where are those who will lose their lives for Christ’s sake — flinging them away for love of him? Where are those who will live dangerously and be reckless in his service? Where are his lovers — those who love him and the souls of men more than their own reputations or comfort or very life?

Where are the men who say ‘no’ to self, who take up Christ’s cross to bear it after him, who are willing to be nailed to it in college or office, home or mission field, who are willing, if need be, to bleed, to suffer and to die on it?

Where are the adventurers, the explorers, the buccaneers for God, who count one human soul of far greater value than the rise or fall of an empire? Where are the men who are willing to pay the price of vision? Where are the men of prayer? Where are God’s men in this day of God’s power?”

Howard Guinness, Sacrifice.

His words have more of a ring when you realise he was just such a pioneer missionary going to Canada in the 1920s with a one way ticket, pioneering ministry planting before then going to Australia and New Zealand to do likewise.

Being godly men - Part 2 - Men and Discipleship

How do you think of church? What image do you think of when you think of discipleship?

I think there are 2 helpful ways for men to think of discipleship and even church:



The first is thinking of church or discipleship as like a fight club where we spur one another on to tackle sin in our lives.


The second is that of a band of brothers where we each support and care for others.

I have a number of convictions about men and discipleship:

• Men need other men
• Men need challenge
• Men need investing in
• Men are different from women
• Men need courageous leaders
• Men need calling to kingdom greatness
• Men need mission

These are borne out of experience dealing with men, being one myself but also from studying Luke's gospel and seeing how Jesus disciples his followers:

In Luke 5v1-11 Jesus calls them to leave everything and be part of something in a team, then we see him invest time and energy in these guys during that time he; (8:25) Jesus directly challenges them, (9:51-ch19) invests in and trains them teaching them how and what to think and do. Jesus provides them with a living model of courageous leadership throughout, and (9:46-48) he does not rebuke them for seeking greatness but reinterprets greatness for them in kingdom terms. Finally (24:45-49) Jesus gives them a mission – witness to the world!

Earnest Shackleton posted this advert when recruiting men for polar expedition:

“Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages. Bitter cold. Long months of complete darkness. Constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success”

5000 men applied for 26 posts, men long for adventure for challenge and the gospel channels and reinterprets those desires.

So what?We need men to lead and to call their friends to come to faith in Jesus Christ. 3% of the time if a child comes to Christ the family follow, 17% of the time if a wife come to Christ the family follow, 93% of the time if the husband comes to Christ the family follow. Men must engage in evangelism of other men.

We need as men to engage in discipleship to be a band of brothers who labour together to fight sin, who support each other, who spur one another on.

We also need to explode the ‘Quiet Time’ myth - many men struggle with the idea of quiet times. They've heard people preach and call others to go into their room in secret and pray to God but they find it hard and therefore give up or struggle on feeling guilty. Now the point of Jesus teaching there is combating those who only pray in public and are therefore hypocrites. He is not laying out a model of how to pray. I say that because if he did he then doesn't keep it himself as we often see him withdraw up a mountain to pray. It is the idea of praying alone with God unseen that matters. As men it may be in the outdoors, it may be walking in the hills or through a wood when actually we can pray.

As men we need to be courageous and take risks for Christ and call others to do the same, in too many of our churches we dial down on challenge and call and focus on comfort. But the gospels are distinctly uncomfortable in the terms in which they describe discipleship, they are phenomenally challenging. We need to hear that call respond to it ourselves and call others to.

Lastly we need to remind ourselves we are saved by grace, called to a kingdom and given a mission.

Being gody men - part 1 - Men and family

From Genesis 1-3 we see a number of key things about manhood, womanhood, how we relate to each other, how we relate to God and about marriage.

So we see that God creates man and woman equal but different as Genesis 2 zooms in on Day 6 of creation, and we also see that he is placed in garden to work and guard but surprisingly, given chapter ones repeated assertion, that there is something not good (v18)“It is not good for the man to be alone.” One of our problems in this verse is the way we think of loneliness. The issue here isn’t loneliness as we think of it!

If the problem was loneliness. Then Eve was created as an antidote to loneliness, therefore marriage is about companionship. But that is not what Genesis 2 shows us, context is key to working out what is really happening. In the context of the chapter we see that God gave Adam a task; working and protecting the garden, mediating his rule to creation - partially to be accompanied by multiplying - and then (18)God looks and sees Adam is the only one, he is alone, and the task is vast.

Adam’s problem is not loneliness it is that he needs help, creation needs lots of worshippers working, guarding and mediating God’s rule. God’s answer to the problem reveals it isn’t loneliness. God helps Adam see his need that’s why the animals come to him and as he names them he discovers what God already knows; he is alone. And it is to an Adam who now knows his aloneness that God brings the answer. Eve, a woman, a helper.

God doesn’t create a companion but a helper. Someone to worship and work with him to fulfil the God given task. God creates Eve so they can worship God as he intended as they have children, work, labour, guard and mediate God’s rule to his world

This helps us see the Biblical pattern as laid down in Genesis 2, In Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood it is helpfully summarised like this: “In the partnership of 2 spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God glorifying direction.”

We need a Biblical view of marriage. What should be upper most in our minds as we approach and think about marriage is Genesis 2. Will she help and support me as I worship God by leading the family and living life for his glory. If the answer to that is no then matter how attractive they are or how well you get on you ought not to marry that person. It must also inform our attitude to ourselves and marriage - loving self sacrificial headship. But we must also consider ourselves and ask am I willing and able to lead her in glorifying God.

In Ephesians 5 Paul lays out a pattern for marriage based on Christ and the church. He lays out a pattern of godly marriage, of headship and helper that is neither male dominance or female subservience. Fascinatingly in Paul's' teaching on men and women Genesis is foundational, as he describes Christian submission and Christian headship and stresses responsibilities of husband in light of the example of the cross.


His call in these verse is more challenging for the husbands. A believing and godly husband will treat his wife as Christ treats church; giving himself for her, he will not be harsh with her but will love her at cost to himself. In short Paul's model and call to husbands is loving servant leadership.

We need to recognise the challenge this poses as it is so very counter cultural, but it is a biblical mandate. The Bible calls us as men to lead our families in a godly way, to pattern ourselves on our saviour and love our wives self sacrificially. However we also need to recognise that we can only live like this by grace and the Spirit.

Being godly men

That was the title of the seminar I was doing over the weekend and a couple of people have asked me what I said, what we discussed and so on. I didn't do myself full notes and the slides I used in and of themselves don't make much sense, so I'm hoping to be able to blog some of what we looked at here in teh hope that it provokes conversation, thought and ultimately godliness.

From some of the conversations I had afterwards others thoughts and convictions have flowed so I'll include those too.

What does it mean to be a man?

Last night I went out with 7 guys from my street, one owns a taxi so he drove us all to a really good Indian he knows in Rotherham (I have to say the curry was fantastic, the best I've had since leaving Leicester). We had a really good time despite all coming from very different backgrounds, faiths, careers etc.

But it got me to thinking this morning that there is quite a chasm between the worlds view of manliness and the bibles view of manliness. And I wonder if too often what we think is biblical manliness is really just aping the world.

Questions for Father's Day

I've used these here before but with Father's Day on Sunday they are good things to be thinking about. In our churches we need to ask men great questions, not just give them easy answers, we need to address the questions that men are asking in our preaching, here are some suggested questions:

1. What does becoming a Christian mean for my masculinity?
2. What is Biblical manliness?
3. What does biblical holiness look like for men today?
4. What is success?
5. How do I deal with guilt feelings?
6. What is male sexuality? Is purity possible for the modern man?
7. How can we nurture family life?
8. What is Christian leadership? How is it developed?
9. What are the basic disciplines of the Christian man?
10. What ministry skills need to be developed? How? Will the church do it?
11. What is biblical business conduct?
12. What is integrity? How is it developed?
13. What does it mean to be married for God?

Men follow men. Its fascinating working through Luke 9 and 10 as Jesus teaches his disciples how many of these issues come up and are addressed again and again.

A Man of God

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." 1 Corinthians 16v13-14. Spent some time this morning meditating on this verse. Asking myself questions of each phrase.

What does it mean to be watchful? Where am I not watchful?
Where and when am I in danger of not standing firm?
What does it mean Biblically to act like a man?
What does it mean to be strong? How is it counter cultural?
Where do I fail to act in love?

Scratch-ing an itch

CVM have just launched Scratch, a magazine aimed at Christian men and men on the fringe of church. Having read it since the weekend it is excellent particularly at challenging peoples stereotypical views of Christian men. Articles with Bear Grylls, Kaka, and Tim Vine among others make it a great read and then give away. You can order them through the Christian Vision for Men website.

Northern Men's Convention

The Northern Men's Convention is a great day of teaching, fellowship and a time to think through particular issues as men.

Here is a link to the website to see what is on, you can also download past teaching: Link

Biblical Masculinity

Some time ago I reviewed 'Why men hate going to Church', today over at John Pipers Desiring God Blog link: http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/882_valuing_biblical_manhood/ they have just posted a great outline of his talk on Biblical masculinity. It is well worth reading and thinking about for men, women and churches.

The questions men asked

Just finished reading Why men hate going to church? It is a thought provoking book, though as always with American based books part of the challenge in thinking about it is working out how reflective the trends it highlights in US Churches are of British churches. Wouldn't it be great to have a book specifically researched and written in the context of British churches.

One of the best chapters in the book was about teaching and the masculine spirit, the challenge as Murrow sees it is dor our churcehs to be places where men are learning. He says we need to ask men great questions, not simply give them easy answers, and addressing the questions that men have in our preaching, here are his ten questions:

1. What is true manliness?
2. What is success?
3. How do I deal with guilt feelings?
4. What is male sexuality? Is purity possible for the modern man?
5. How can we nurture family life?
6. What is Christian leadership? How is it developed?
7. What are the basic disciplines of the Christian man?
8. What ministry skills need to be developed? How?
9. What is biblical business conduct?
10. What is integrity? How is it developed?

I wonder if men in church in Britain today would agree that they are the questions they'd love teaching on?

Reaching men

I've just started reading Why men hate going to church and it has some disturbing statistics which I found alarming about the rate of men leaving the church and suggestions about why this is. Basically David Murrow's point is that we do church for women and it therefore doesn't appeal to men. So men love adventure, excitement, challenge and risk, women like security, safety and friendship. The church does the later but not much of the former. Women tend to be more academic men more practical. I could go on with other things that he points out as possible contributors as to why we struggle to reach men.

But actually what is more alarming is that besides men the other part of the populace which is abandoning church is women between the ages of 18 and 34. Maybe because they now share the desire for excitement, challenge, risk and the church is not providing this.

Yet Jesus called, challenged, confronted and risked and had no problem winning men. It has set me thinking about how would you do church that reaches men as well as ladies? Does it mean shorter services? Does it mean bacon butties before church? Is the need for discipleship, where men can challenge one another and spur one another on to take risks and to live out their faith?

In short how could we do church that men loved?