My Ideal Church

As a pastor I sometimes find myself daydreaming about my ideal church.  A church where suffering and sin don't have such a profound impact everyday.  Where when the phone goes it isn't news of a loss, a bereavement, a miscarriage, a marriage breakup or breakdown.  Where the families of those I am privileged to care for are not continually being ravaged by suffering.  Where no-one drifts but everyone is pressing on for the prize and engaged in evangelism out of an overflow of love for Christ.  Where we are all united around the primary issues and lovingly bear with one other on secondary issues where we differ.  Where there is no such thing as friendly fire.  Where people don't drift or grow cold or hard to the gospel.

As I've been thinking about it I think some of that is good.  Some of that longing is a desire for Christ to come again and for his church to be perfected and secure in his kingdom come.  Some of that desire is because we hate to see people we care about suffer.  Some of it is because we long to see people grow in their appreciation of and love for the gospel.

But some of it reveals an idolatry in myself.  A desire for a church that is easy to pastor, for people who don't need so much care and love, a longing for comfort and ease.  A longing to be liked and respected and valued.  Maybe mixed in there is also a bit of reputation idolatry - if church was like that what would it say about my ministry?  What would others conclude?

The reality is that ministry in a broken world will always be reflective of life in a broken world.  Sin impacts the church and those who are in it.  But I am reminded again and again in God's word that Christ is enough, enough for life, enough for loss, enough for ministry in the midst of each and everyone one of those.  Each loss needs to drive me away from self reliance - upon my skills, my experience, my ability to love - and to Christ who will supply all my needs.  Each criticism is to wean me from pride and remind me that I am to labour for his well done not peoples.  Each division is to drive me to pray that by the Holy Spirit God opens eyes and ignites hearts again to the wonder of the gospel of his Son.

What to do when exhaustion strikes?

Spiritual depression is a reality we can all face. There are times when we feel dry spiritually, when we feel as if we have lost our joy, when for a number of reasons we want to know closeness with God but simply don't.

It is not something which the bible leaves us on our own to feel guilty about. In fact Psalm 42-43 seem to describe David experiencing something similar:

Psalm 42
 1 As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng
and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
a multitude keeping festival.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation 6 and my God.
My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember you
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
have gone over me.
8 By day the LORD commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God, my rock:
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?”
10 As with a deadly wound in my bones,
my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God?”
11 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

Psalm 43
1 Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause
against an ungodly people,
from the deceitful and unjust man
deliver me!
2 For you are the God in whom I take refuge;
why have you rejected me?
Why do I go about mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?
3 Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!
4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

Isn't it encouraging that such a Psalm exists, that God by his Holy Spirit recorded it for his people to use so that we know we are not alone in feeling at times as if we are about to be swept off our feet and plunged into the deep.  So that we know we are not the only ones who feel as if God is distant and as if we cannot approach, the only one who feel the press and pressure of enemies, or the only one who simply feels drained.

But this Psalm is not here to function as a pity party!  Its worth us noticing in particular the refrain which the psalmist used through both of these turbulent Psalms: "Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God."  What is the Psalmist doing here?  He is talking to himself, he is reminding himself of God his salvation and his hope.  He does not castigate himself for how he feels, he does not engage in guilty arm twisting, he pours his heart out to God and takes his focus off himself and fixes his eyes, heart, and hope on God his Saviour.

We need to do likewise.  This side of the cross we remind ourselves of the torn curtain that signifies that God is no longer distant and unapproachable but that the Almighty God of the universe is now someone we can call that most intimate of terms "Father", one whom we can approach just as the Psalmist did knowing that nothing can separate us from the love of God.  One to whom we can confess our failings, our sins, our anger, our inadequacies and know that we are forgiven and welcomed as loved sons in whom he is well pleased.

When we find ourselves spiritually exhausted and low, drained, tired, and joyless it is not just TLC or rest which we need, though there may be a need for some of that, it is ultimately to refresh ourselves in our understanding of the love of Christ, its depth, height, breadth, scope.  We need (TAC) taking again to Calvary.

But feeling that spiritual exhaustion also provides a point at which to take stock.  How have I reached this point?  Have I been ministering to others in my own strength rather than in God's?  Have I been open and honest with others asking for their prayers for my deepest needs?  Have I allowed others to minister to me and serve me or have I withdrawn?  Have I been ensuring I minister out of the overflow of God's grace and love which are in my heart rather than drawing on the ever dwindling reserves of our own ability to whip up love for others?  How can I ensure I keep my eyes fixed on God's grace to me?

Do I need a spiritual holiday?

We take holidays because we need a break, because we are drained and tired and need to recharge the batteries. But what do you do if you feel like that spiritually?

Hebrews is a letter from a pastor to his church, (13:22)he tells us why he writes “Brothers and sisters, I urge you to bear with my word of exhortation, for in fact I have written to you quite briefly” **Why does he write? He writes to encourage them because they are in danger. The danger is not persecution or state sponsored opposition it is that they adopt a deformed Christianity, either by adding to it sacred rites and rituals from Judaism, or by losing their passion and becoming hard hearted, or simply by drifting gradually away from the gospel.

Hebrews functions as a clarion call to these believers and to us, it shows us dangers that face us and provides 5 warnings; the warning not to drift but to pay attention, not to become hard hearted but to be passionate, not to be lazy but to grow to maturity, not to turn away from God’s word but to treasure it, and lastly not to give up but to keep on living by faith.

But it isn’t just a book of warnings it is a book of hope and promise, it is a book to stir our hearts and reignite our wonder at our salvation. You see the pastor knows that you can’t just manufacture passion, faith, or perseverance and he doesn’t want his readers to but he seeks to stir it up in them as he unveils and unpacks the superiority and splendour of Jesus, God the Son made man. As he unpacks who he is, his work and what he has accomplished for his people. 1:1-4 give us an introduction into some of the themes that run through the letter.

Why do we need to study Hebrews? Because we need these warnings, we need to see afresh who Jesus is and the wonder of our salvation.