Marriage part 2

Whilst continuing to thinking about marriage I was talking with a friend who is preparing a series of Bible studies for Newly Marrieds. I think there are a number of questions couples have:

1. What does a Biblical Marriage look like?
Genesis 2 is a key text for us to look at again and again in our marriages, and in thinking about who to marry. There we see the world God has made and gifted Adam, but we see a fly in the ointment. Adam is "alone", it doesn't mean lonely, it means that there is no suitable helper for him. God graciously allows Adam to discover that problem for himself, to feel the longing and need of one like him. And then he causes Adam to fall into a deep sleep and then God takes one of man’s ribs and makes woman. Adam awakening sees Eve not a threat or rival but one who is capable of fulfilling his longing for a helper because of equality and Adam names her. He bursts forth into a song of praise for the woman God has made for him.

Marriage is not a way of ending loneliness but two equals being united to serve God together. In our world, sick with sin, headship and helper have connotations of dominion and subservience but they do not in Genesis 2 and God's blueprint for marriage! We must not throw out Genesis 2 and the godly order we find there because of the sin sick marriages we see around us. Satan longs to see us settle for less than God's plan in our marriage.

In the book 'Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood' this definition is given: "In the partnership of 2 spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God glorifying direction." I think it is a great definition.

This is reinforced when you read Genesis 3 and realise that Adam stands by as Eve is tempted and takes the fruit and gives it to her. He abdicates his spiritual leadership role and the consequences are disastrous. Men must lead marriage in a God glorifying direction and wives must help, support and encourage them to that end.

2. Is it worth waiting for such a person?
Sometimes you hear people say; 'Yes that's fine but that's the ideal this is the real world, shouldn't I just settle?' The answer the Bible gives is emphatically no! Marriage matters and the Bible is littered with examples of bad marriages, think of Samson, think of Solomon and so on... Your marriage partner significantly impacts your service of God, either you will serve God together as he intended (Gen 2) or always feel pulled in two directions and frustrated.

But actually why would you settle for second best? Why would you accept a pale unsatisfying imitation of what God may have for you?

There may be more questions which I'll come back to later in the week.