Do dad's matter?

We live in a world where dad's are mocked and derided and increasingly viewed as unnecessary, if you don't believe me you try to think of a positive dad figure in a kids film or TV show. There are plenty like Homer Simpson who to be honest are harder work than the children, but there are very few positive dad figures. In fact many children's shows now just feature the mum, Dad is nowhere to be seen.

In reading the Pure Church blog this morning (see side bar) this was quoted from Oprah's interview with Jay-Z. It gives us an interesting insight into what it's like for some kids who grow up without their dads. It reveals something of the emotional detachment that happens and the anger created. As in this exchange:

Oprah: That's too much chicken in a lifetime. So when you were 5, your family moved to the Marcy projects—and then your father left when you were 11. When you look back at that, what did your 11-year-old self feel?

Jay-Z: Anger. At the whole situation. Because when you're growing up, your dad is your superhero. Once you've let yourself fall that in love with someone, once you put him on such a high pedestal and he lets you down, you never want to experience that pain again. So I remember just being really quiet and really cold. Never wanting to let myself get close to someone like that again. I carried that feeling throughout my life, until my father and I met up before he died.

Oprah: Wow. I've never heard a man phrase it that way. You know, I've done many shows about divorce, and the real crime is when the kids aren't told. They just wake up one day and their dad is gone. Did that happen to you?

Jay-Z: We were told our parents would separate, but the reasons weren't explained. My mom prepared us more than he did. I don't think he was ready for that level of discussion and emotion. He was a guy who was pretty detached from his feelings.

Oprah: Did you wonder why he left?

Jay-Z: I summed it up that they weren't getting along. There was a lot of arguing.

Oprah: And did you know you were angry?Jay-Z: Yeah. I also felt protective of my mom. I remember telling her, "Don't worry, when I get big, I'm going to take care of this." I felt like I had to step up. I was 11 years old, right? But I felt I had to make the situation better.

Oprah: How did that change you?

Jay-Z: It made me not express my feelings as much. I was already a shy kid, and it made me a little reclusive. But it also made me independent. And stronger. It was a weird juxtaposition.

Dad's are a God given and necessary part of a child's life!